My Life, Your Inspiration.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Girl He Was Fineee.....BUT

Listen, most of ya'll know my preference. Physically I like them tall, dark skinned, gotta have a beard, I would like for him to smell good, dress nice, nice smile and....a few more things. I know it's a lot to ask for but HEYYYYY the bible says "Delight yourself in the world and he WILL give you the desires of your heart!" Right or Wrong?

Well baby that's what he was! I'm going to name him (Lazy) but here is how I found out that he was and , here's why I was stupid for not realizing it sooner. 

So I was the planner at an event that Lazy attended. He sat there looking all Idris Elba in the movie "No Good Deed"! I spotted him from afar and asked my sister Betty "B, WHO IS THAT?" She responded "Girl I don't know but, shoot your shot!" See one thing about me is I'll never chase a man but, I'm also not afraid to shoot my shot. So I did just that! I approached Lazy, we exchanged compliments, exchanged numbers and, called it a night. No lie, ya girl was excited to get to know him! PHYSICALLY he was everything I listed above y'all but... I would later finally understand what "Don't judge a book by it's cover" really means! 

So a few days later Lazy called for the first time and we talked until 4:30 am and, this quickly became a routine. I remember hanging up the phone at 5:30 am and my work alarm going off at 6:30 am! I would say things like "Man I need to head to bed, I have work in a few hours" but I would never hear him say the same thing.  Majority of our conversations consisted around him asking about my occupation, business, side hustles how I managed my finances and, more. When I would ask about his occupations and more he would say "Oh I'm juggling around a few businesses at the time" then would go back to asking about me. See I didn't think too much into it until the first request for money came through! Lazy called and he sounded real stressed! I asked "What's wrong?" he responded by saying "Well my roommate forgot to remind me that rent was due and the money I had I already used it!" No lie, I stayed quiet and thought to myself "Why do you need to be reminded that rent is due!  How did you expect to stay in that apartment without paying for it?" but.....I've learned that you don't always have to say what's on your mind so, I didn't! I changed the subject and went to bed when the conversation was over. 

The next day I got a call from Lazy while I was at work so, I walked away from my desk to pick up. He proceeded to saying how he needed help with rent and promised to pay me back in a few weeks. I asked "Well how much do you need?" he said $300.00. I don't know what caused my stupid self to say yes but, I did! About an hour later he pulls up to my job to pick up the cash, apologizes and, promises to have it back to me sooner than later.  So our phone calls continued and weeks went by and I never heard about the money. A few times I wanted to ask about it but, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable so I left it alone. Now his birthday was slowly approaching and even though I had no business buying him anything because it wasn't like he was my man or anything but, I did. I purchased a few sweaters from Express and asked him to meet me for dinner. Our reservation was at 6:30, he showed up at 8:15. He came in with some sorry excuse for being late but he looked good smelled good and, I got distracted by his smile y'all! We ate, talked, I gave him his gift and, I covered the check. Call me stupid because trust me I KNOW I WAS!

So fast forward and now we've been friends, talking, WHATEVER it was that we were for about three months now and, I have yet to hear this man say he's headed to work! One day I was hanging with a friend and he texted  me saying we should meet up for dinner. I said cool and told him to pick the restaurant and, I'll meet him there. We arrive to the restaurant, take a seat I order my dinner and water while he orders the most expensive steak and three glasses of mimosa's!  When the bill came, the waitress put it in the middle of us and, this dude slides the bill over to me! I had this look on my face like "N***A ARE YOU FOR-REAL!" and that's not even the worse part! I open the bill and say "Oh that's a lot" and his dude says "Do you need help paying for it?" I responded "It's cool I got it!" and told him I had to get back to my friends house! I left the restaurant extremely furious and wondering "WHY AM I STILL DEALING WITH THIS MAN!" I mean I know he's fine and all but this ain't it chief!  I told myself "Maybe he's just going through a tough time and let me show him that I'm a good women and in due time, he should be mine. Just be patient with him Carina!" Call me stupid because trust me I KNOW I WAS! 

It's now month four of us talking or whatever it was and, honestly he hasn't really said much about us being together nor the $300.00 I loaned him. I decided to let the $300 go but, I wanted to know where this relationship was going and because I'm bold, I was not afraid to ask! I texted him saying "Hey when you get a chance, can we talk?" he responds "Yeah I was meaning to texting you. I have a major family issue and I need $250.00 right now please it's an emergency!" And you know what my STUPID self did, I zelled that $250 dollars over to him! Call me stupid because trust me I KNOW I WAS! 

So at this point I'm starting to feel used ya'll! I mean the guy acts like he likes me but barely makes time for me unless he wants something and, it seems like our conversations always end with a request from him. All of these things crossed my mind but at the same time GIRLLLL HE WAS FINE! So I decided to keep holding on and hoping for the best! 

Now I had a trip I had to take to Houston for a potential clients event. The week before the trip, Lazy asked if he could come with me sense he had never been to Houston and was free that weekend! I'm thinking "I'm sure your free every weekend!" Now usually I wouldn't travel with someone I'm that physically and sexually attracted to (because y'all know I'm trying to stay celibate) but, when I informed my clients that I wasn't coming alone, they agreed to pay for both of our separate rooms. I had already paid for my rental car so technically Lazy was taking a free trip. We head to Houston and the entire drive is amazing! We laugh, worship, he holds my hand as he drove the whole way there and, more. We finally make it to Houston and checked into our rooms. We were about 25 minutes from the city and there weren't many restaurants near us. I had a meeting with my clients so he asked me to find a restaurant that delivered nearby. Now in my mind, he's the one that's hungry so he's the one that's going to cover his own food right? I find a Chinese restaurant nearby so I call and place an order for him. I say "Hey the total is $34.00 cash or card?" you guys wouldn't believe what he responded with! He says "Okay where's your wallet?" I could feel my stomach turning! But you know what I did, I grabbed my purse, gave my card number and, told him his food would be here in 35 minutes! Call me stupid because trust me I KNOW I WAS! 

So I head to my meeting with my clients and left Lazy at the hotel. While I was out he texted me saying "Hey I have a friend who lives here in Houston and wants to take us out tonight is that okay? I said cool and told him I'd see him later. When my meeting was over I made my way back to my hotel to change and get ready for dinner. Lazy and I met at the lobby and he says "Wow my lady you look beautiful!" I smiled as we walked to the car! We arrive to dinner and everything is going soo well until the waiter arrived and said "Will this be together or separate?" See my mother once told me "Even if someone takes you out,  always make sure you have your own money and, say separate checks until they offer to pay for it" and that's exactly what I did! Oh but the look on his face when I said that! The waiter brought three checks one for me, one for Lazy and, one for his friend. As I was opening up my purse to grab my wallet, I could hear Lazy tell his friend "Hey cover this one for me please and I'll pay you back!" I just shook my head, we said our goodbyes to his friend and, the entire ride back to the hotel was dead silent! And I honestly DID NOT CARE!

Now we head back to Dallas the next day and I called my sister for advice on what to do with this EXTRA FINE but LAZY man! I explained to her all these things that had happened and told her I didn't know what to do anymore!  She said "Well maybe he's an international student and isn't able to work! OR he just doesn't know how to look for a job! OR maybe there's an issue with his documents! OR he literally could just be LAZY! But instead of assuming just ask because no offense Carina, this is ridiculous! I took her advice and came up with away to ask Lazy why he wasn't employed without hurting his feelings. We were on the phone and I said "Hey I know you want to learn more about videography, my job is looking for interns but you have to be eligible to work in the U.S. is that something you would be interested in?" With excitement in his voice he said "Oh I would love to and I'm a citizen so that won't be an issue at all!" I froze and did not know what to say after that! 

Okay so obviously my job wasn't really hiring but, Lazy really did want to pursue a career in videography and, there was a particular camera that he wanted to get started.  He had mentioned the camera to me a few times before but, also stated that it was really expensive. I don't remember what I was doing at this exact time but, a text message came through my phone from Lazy that said "Hey so I was able to find that camera I was telling you about for $500.00 I'll put $100 and you put $400 and I can purchase the camera today! When can you zelle me?" I didn't zelle him.......I blocked him and I have yet to see or talk to him since then!

If you've read this far I'm sure you're thinking "Carina WHAT THE HELL!" Yeah I think the same thing now when I look back on it. I laugh, I shake my head and I tell myself "Don't you ever try to prove to a lazy man or hell any man that you got his back if he doesn't have his own back!" 

Here's What I Hope You Learned From This Experience:

  • Never Judge A Cook By It's Cover
  • Just Because Hes's Fine Does Not Mean He Will Be The Whole Package
  • Though Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Still Listen To His Words
  • If He Asks Once, He'll Ask Again
  • Don't Spend Money On No Man Who Is NOT YOUR MAN!
  • Don't Let Loyalty Become Slavery 
  • Never Let Loyalty Make A Fool Out Of You
  • No Man Is Worth Loosing Your Self Respect & Hard Earned Money
  • If He Wants You, You'll Know! If He Doesn't, You'll Know!
  • The Only People You Owe Your Loyalty To, Are Those Who Never Made You Question Theirs
  • Make The "Blocked" Button Your Best Friend!


  1. Wow!!! I enjoyed reading this so much

  2. That’s a teaching moment for all of us any relationship. Thanks for sharing


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