My Life, Your Inspiration.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

I ' M U G L Y !

"I like your hair. Wow you really are beautiful my daughter!" I smiled and replied "Thank you Dad, that means a lot to me." I think that was the first time I ever heard my Dad tell me that I was beautiful. This was about 3 months before he passed away. Those words comforted me as I cried myself to sleep last night. 

You want to talk about being transparent well here's the truth! Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror for hours and, try to convince myself that I am beautiful. Sometimes I feel like those people who told me I was ugly, that I would never get married because men don't like plus size women, that I look like I'm missing a tooth, that I look better with makeup then without it, that my ex finally gave me a story to tell because no one wants me, were actually telling the truth! Then there's days I feel like I'm the most beautiful women in the world. Like I'm okay with walking out the house without makeup on, like my gap is a beauty mark, and that somebody will be the luckiest man in the world to have me.

I was once told that words hurt and, affect more than anything. That they stick with you. That if you don't deal with the things that hurt you, those exact things will cause you to destroy everything in your life. I'm in the process of dealing, healing, and letting God reveal. I'm doing this so I don't destroy the things I have and, the things that are coming my way.  I'm the in process of dealing with myself and, my insecurities. I'm healing from the words that affected me, and I'm letting God reveal. He's revealing to me who I really am, what HE says I am, and why I am what I am.

I want to close this post off by encouraging someone dealing with this same issue or any other issue to do the same. Deal, Heal, & Let God Reveal.  D E A L: Get to the root of the issue. Figure out why it happened. Accept that it happened and, that it may possibly happen again. H E A L: Pray, Cry, Write, Stare In The Mirror, Scream, Yell, Talk To Somebody You Trust, Pray, Read The Word, Pray, Pray, & Pray! L E T G O D R E V E A L: Sit at his feet! 

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